Reader Question:
I came across he a couple weeks in the past and we immediately hit it off. He’s 20 and I am 18.
We agreed we might stay as friends with benefits because i’ll be leaving in two months for some time. For whatever reason, the guy keeps revisiting the notion of simply becoming pals, saying he loves me but it helps make him put a wall up.
I informed him it would be good when we merely quit chatting so he’dn’t get any more feelings because he doesn’t want currently, but the guy keeps claiming he doesn’t want to eliminate talking.
Why does the guy send me personally combined indicators? How do I figure out what the guy really wants?
-Brianna (Wisconsin)
Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Response:
Brianna,
When you describe your own connection as pals with advantages, I assume you indicate sexual benefits. And since you are the one leaving town, I have a feeling you’re one who structured the connection because of this.
The guy, in contrast, didn’t have a lot of an option. You will be making, whether or not he desired much more. Indeed, I believe the solution from the commitment was actually the thing that attracted the two of you.
It’s ways to test a connection comprehending that either one people can have an escape home from the two-month tag.
With contemporary interactions being so sensitive yet so pressured for gender, folks usually aim to dip their particular toe-in in an effort to prevent an agonizing breakup.
However the bottom line is sex creates emotions. He is giving you blended indicators because he loves you! He is in fact suggesting the “friends with advantages” charade may be the wall surface he’s starting.
My guidance: do not mess with this guy’s heart if you do not wish a genuine relationship. In the event you, carry it up-and end up being specific regarding your requirements.
The elephant from inside the living room appears too large for either people to disregard.
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